Healing

It's been about a week since my surgery. Overall? I'm doing much better than I expected.

I know I told you guys I was a little nervous before my surgery. I might have understated that. I didn't sleep for two nights before I went to the hospital. However, by the time I got into the pre-op area the morning of the procedure I was a zen master. Calm, cool and sort of collected.

I kept telling myself I had chosen to do this. That this was going to change my life in so many ways. That helped. So did the happy drugs the nurses gave me. The procedure went well and I spent one night in the hospital (Side note: At Piedmont Hospital, they play "Brahms' Lullaby" every time a baby is born. Sweet. But in my post-anesthesia brain, the first time I heard it, I thought it was the hospital's way of saying it was time for patients to go to sleep--a call for lights out. I caught on by the third time I heard it.).

I stayed at my brother and sister-in-law's, who took amazing care of me, for the first few days. My dad stopped by and made me grilled cheese sandwiches that tasted like my childhood. And I tried to rest and be OK with other people taking care of me. So far, this has proven to be the hardest thing for me. Even in the hospital I kept apologizing to the nurses when I had to call them.

Today I had my first post-op appointment with my surgeon, who cleared me to drive (and most important--shower) and told me everything was healing as it should be.

The pain has been minimal, but the sitting around part has been brutal. I'm not used to being this sedentary. But I'm trying to take it easy, because I know that's what will help me heal.

I have to express my gratitude to my amazing family and friends who have stopped by, brought me food, taken me to lunch, and sent me notes of well-wishes before and after my surgery. I feel so blessed by so many in my life.

I do wonder if I would be doing this well if I weren't so active. I guess I will never know. But I'm happy so far and feeling no regrets.

I wish all of you the happiest of holidays. Thank you for all the positive energy, good thoughts and prayers you've sent me. They've really helped.

Almost the end

Today is my last day in the office for 2011. Tomorrow morning at 7:30 a.m. I will be undergoing surgery, hopefully with fantastic results. How am I feeling? Excited. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Nervous. Hopeful.

So many of you have sent me your well-wishes and promised me your thoughts and your prayers. Thank you so much. Please keep them coming. I will do my best to update you as soon as I can, so check back Monday or Tuesday next week to see how I'm doing.

I'm grateful for your love and support. And I'll be in touch very soon.

Happy holidays!

News from the top

I was in fourth grade when I got my first one. I can remember going to J.C. Penney with my mother, both embarrassed and secretly excited to be growing up.

But any excitement I felt quickly vanished when I went to school the next day. The white blouse of my school uniform did little to hide the mortifying fact that I was the first girl in my class to get a bra.

I was teased as a child for them. Mistaken as an adolescent for being much older than I was (if kids 12 and younger ate free, my mom wanted to bring a copy of my birth certificate), and, as an adult, struggled with extra sports bras and contraptions to get me through a workout. Big boobs just get in the way.

Soon, though, they won’t. Next Thursday, Dec. 15, I will be undergoing breast reduction surgery.

My emotions about this are mixed. I’m mostly excited. I know this is ultimately going to be a fantastic thing for me. Since I was approved for surgery, I’ve been fantasizing during my workouts about how much easier it will be without these things threatening to hit me in the face.

I’m also nervous, though. I’ve never had a major surgery, and this one is no joke. The recovery is pretty extensive, though friends of mine who’ve had it told me it was easier than expected. I hope that’s the case for me, too.

One thing that worries me is getting back into my exercise routine when I’m able. Since I started this whole journey in January 2010 (nearly two years ago—hard to believe), I haven’t gone longer than a week without working out. When I had my initial consultation, one of the first questions I asked was about getting back into my gym routine. The nurse told me I had to wait six weeks before I could resume any high-impact exercise. If you had told me two years ago I couldn’t work out for six weeks, my response would have been a shrug of the shoulders and a “So?” Now, it’s one of my biggest concerns. The nurse told me I could walk, but I’m not sure she realizes how I push my body on a regular basis. Walking just isn’t going to cut it. Still, I’ll do what I can.

I’ll be out of work from next Thursday through the end of the year. I’ll update you here about how I’m doing when I’m feeling up to it (don’t worry—no pictures!). I feel like this is a culmination of something I’ve wanted to do for so long. In fact, the nurse said my weight loss was the major selling point to my insurance company. At the same time, I’m a little scared. So I’ll appreciate all your good thoughts.

And when it’s all said and done? Maybe I’ll actually become a runner. OK, maybe not.

Wrap-up

So, did you try the cauliflower? What about the buffalo chicken? I'm dying to know what you think. Make sure you send me your feedback. I won't be in the office tomorrow, so I thought I'd do a few Friday photos a little early. Here are a few from my birthday and Thanksgiving.

I have some news to share with you guys next week, so make sure you check back in Monday or Tuesday. Have a splendid weekend!

Celebrating my birthday with my friends Heidi and Carla

With Carla, Heidi, Drew and LaTonia

With my brother and sister-in-law--Thanksgiving

With my dad, sister-in-law and brother

Wearing the cauliflower (!) necklace my friend Laura gave me for my birthday. How awesomely appropriate is that?

Faves

I’ve got some favorites to share with y’all. One of which might weirdly be my most favorite thing in the history of my favorite things entries. Here we go.

Buffalo chicken

I randomly bought some Frank’s Buffalo Sauce on a recent trip to the grocery store. I don’t have a very high tolerance for hot stuff, but I do like a little kick sometimes. I have been marinating chicken breasts (I always buy the smaller tenderloins) in the sauce and then lightly breading them with Italian bread crumbs and baking them. So yummy. It tastes like you’re eating something you really shouldn’t—a great guilty pleasure, minus the guilt.

Cardio Fusion close to home

The awesome Kevin “KSmoove” Maddox, who teaches Cardio Fusion at Children’s every Thursday, has started teaching at DWT Studios in Smyrna, right around the corner from my apartment. I’ve been taking Zumba classes at DWT for a while, but having Kevin so close to me is such a treat. It’s by far the hardest class I take, and now I get to do it twice a week. Whee!

My new cookbook

My best friend Rebecca knows me so well. And lucky for me, she is one of craftiest and most creative people I know. For my birthday, she made me a cookbook featuring some of my favorite (and soon-to-be-favorite, I’m sure) recipes from my beloved skinnytaste.com. I’m so excited to have all these recipes at my fingertips. It was a truly thoughtful gift that meant so much to me.

And now, for my most favorite thing, possibly of all time. Are you ready?

Drumroll…

Cauliflower

Yes, I said cauliflower. Now look, I know that by itself, cauliflower just seems like a plain, colorless vegetable that lacks character and charisma. But in the past week, this seemingly boring food has changed my life. I’m not even kidding.

When low-carb eating was all the rage, I had read about—and even tried—cauliflower as a mashed potato swap. Y’all know I love me some mashed potatoes. But I love them so much I can’t keep them in my house. So learning that cauliflower could be an acceptable substitute? I was thrilled. So I tried them. They were terrible. I never tried them again.

Until last week. My dear friend Laura Cobb and I often swap new food obsessions and recipes. She told me that she makes cauliflower mash every week. Laura’s recipes have never once let me down, so I decided to give them another shot.

Since last Tuesday, I have eaten, um, five bags of frozen cauliflower. Yeah. Beyond obsessed.

I use frozen cauliflower (Bonus? It’s less than $1 a bag.) and steam it right in the microwave (I vent the bag, put a little water right in there and set the whole bag in a Tupperware dish in the microwave so the water doesn’t go everywhere. I cook it about 5 to 6 minutes). Then I drain it, stick it in the food processor with two wedges of light Laughing Cow cheese and some salt and pepper, and process until it is the lovely smooth texture of my beloved mashed potatoes. Except none of the guilt, hardly any of the calories and lots more vitamins than those potatoes could ever give me. To sum it up, I’m having a torrid affair with cauliflowtatoes, and I don’t plan to stop any time soon.

That’s it for November. I hope you all have a very happy Thanksgiving. I plan to concentrate more on my family and friends than I do the food to make it through the holiday without gaining. This week, I lost a pound and am down a total of 130. Feels good to be on the losing end again. 

I am thankful for all of you, my lovely readers! Thanks for keeping me going every day.

Feeling special

Happy Friday, everyone! I don't really have any new pictures of me to add today. But tomorrow is my birthday, and Mary Wynne, our Manager of Creative Services, is my work birthday buddy. She put a tremendous amount of thought and effort into making me feel special. I've felt the warm fuzzies since I walked in the door this morning.

One of the things she did for me was to make an "Everything Erika" poster. She included pictures of people and things I love (Donnie Wahlberg, Ryan Gosling, nail polish, peanut butter and bacon, etc.). I can't think of a single thing she left out. It's truly awesome.

I'm pretty sure my trainer, Jessica, would be uber proud to see Mary included an exercise ball. What are some things that would be on your "Everything" poster?

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Am I broken?

Last week I hit the reset button. But it looks like I'm going to have to hit it again.

I fear I may have reached the dreaded plateau. I've pretty steadily lost weight since starting all this, but it's just not happening right now. Last week I did really well. I felt super in control for the first time in a while. I counted all my points, I worked out extra hard.

And I didn't lose an ounce.

Fast forward to this past weekend. I was at the Ronald. Someone had kindly donated 60 (yes, 60) pounds of Halloween candy. And this wasn't the crappy candy, either. There were no Smarties or Whoppers or Bit O' Honey. We're talking full sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, Twix. Dangerous stuff. Then these lovely ladies cooked a veritable Mexican feast Saturday night. Even more dangerous.

I stepped on the scale Monday morning and was up almost 5 pounds.

Are you kidding me? Why is it so hard to lose and so easy to gain? Sometimes I long for the days where I weighed more than 300 pounds and was losing. It seemed so much easier then. Now, as I get closer to my goal, I have to break myself to lose an ounce, but indulge just a little to gain a lot.

I'm frustrated. All 5 of those pounds didn't stick, but today I had the worst weigh-in since I started all this. I was so happy with myself last week. I felt so great. And now I just feel defeated.

I'm going to power forward. It's what I do. And hopefully I'll have better news next week.

For now, though, don't give up on me. I'm having a hard enough time not giving up on myself.