Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Blame and credit where it's due

Guess what I got this week?

It’s my 5 percent star from Weight Watchers. That means I’ve lost at least 5 percent of my weight. You know what else that means? Because Children’s wants us to succeed, if we lose 5 percent of our weight, they pay 75 percent of our Weight Watchers fee. If we lose 10 percent, they pay 100 percent. So--I’m happy to say--pay up Children’s.

Here’s the strange thing, though. I’m having trouble accepting this loss.

As I blogged earlier, I was sick a couple of weeks ago and lost weight because I wasn’t eating at all. I fully expected to gain at least a pound or two this past week. So when I stepped on the scale and had lost 4 pounds, I was pretty shocked. I also felt a little guilty.

I’m completely off my rhythm right now. I have just started going back to the gym after a two-week absence. I haven’t been super diligent about tracking my food through the Weight Watchers Web site. I haven’t completed the required Actiped steps in more than two weeks. Overall, I’m way behind.

True, I have been careful about what I’ve been eating. I have conquered some pretty major temptations and have tried to make better choices. But I’m still struggling with taking credit for my weight loss.

Why is that? I know if I had gained weight, I sure as heck would have blamed myself for it. It doesn’t make sense I would blame myself for the bad but not credit myself for the good. It can’t be one or the other.

I think that’s a struggle a lot of us face--taking credit, accepting compliments, owning up not just to our failures, but to our successes. Sure, the victory would have seemed a little sweeter if I had really worked hard last week. But just the fact that I am eating completely differently than I was a month and a half ago should be a triumph in itself.

So I’m going to give myself a little pat on the back. But just a tiny one.

15 comments:

Nancy T. said...

Erika you're doing awesome. So much of weight loss is mental. Isn't it crazy that you're beating yourself up over losing weight? But I think recognizing that kind of thinking is more detrimental than anything means you've come a long way. Keep it up girlfriend!

Anonymous said...

I'm giving you credit. So, should you. You're proving to yourself that you can do this. You can and you are doing this! BE PROUD TO BE YOU!

Anonymous said...

If you can't give yourself credit for losing the weight, at the very least you should be able to give yourself credit for keeping it off.
I lost 25 pounds a few months ago due to a very stressful family problem I was experiencing. I definitely couldn't take credit for the loss, but since then I have only gained back one pound and I sure take credit for that!

Leigh said...

You're absolutely right about giving away credit and taking blame... I think many of us tend to do that in so many areas of our lives. Work, family, and yes, eating and exercise.
Ok, so you're not following your plan exactly how you wanted to, but how many times do you have a plan laid out for a work task that doesn't get followed to the letter - but still gets desired results? All the time!
Dude - you rock. You're doing great! Congrats on the 5%!

Kellynn18 said...

I agree! You're doing such a great job. Keep up the great work. Acknowledge the yucky voice in your head and keep moving along! You rock!

Kevin M. said...

You are such a freakin' inspiration. I'm so proud of you. "You get knocked down, but you get up again.." Take the credit. Take it all. You deserve it. And keep on going. I can't wait to see your 10% star, when Children's REALLY has to pay up! That will make me so happy!

Anonymous said...

Give yourself a big hearty pat on the back! You deserve it! You have worked hard and have made some pretty significant changes in your life - all of that has led you to your 5% weight loss - You go girl!!! Keep on inspiring yourself and others!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the 5% that is fantastic!!!

Anonymous said...

I am really proud of you! There are going to be challenges and bumps in the road along the way, but you just keep on going. Your motivation is inspiring!

Anonymous said...

Eeeee, enough with that crazy talk. Be happy you lost, be happy you're getting better, keep on doing what you're doing.

One "better" decision leads to another...and then another...and then...

So incredibly proud of you! Wahoooo!

Leigh

PS - You have two "Leighs" following you, chick. Yay!

Linda M. said...

Way to stay focused! Proud of you!

Linda

kicks said...

You are amazing!

Anonymous said...

There is no "perfect" weight loss. Are you waiting to be perfect to allow yourself to feel "entitled" to feel good? If so, let go of it.

Baby steps...

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Anonymous said...

Hope you're having a great week and feeling good about things! Thank you for your honesty and courage in putting yourself out there like this. You are helping me in countless ways with my own wellness journey. Thank you, Erika!

Anonymous said...

Willingnes to take blame but not credit is a very hard habit for many women to break. Sandra Bullock said pretty much the same thing the other night when she won her Oscar,"did I earn this or did I just wear you down". This victory is still a victory, take your prize, your praise, raise your head, put one foot in front of the other & keep on going. The rest of us are inspired by you, so go right ahead and INSPIRE YOURSELF! You are fabulous!