Monday, April 30, 2012


I'm sorry I've been MIA for a bit. I've been swamped and a bit under the weather. Today, I thought I'd do something fun--a little food quiz. I hope you'll play along in the comments.

1. What do you purchase during every trip to the grocery store?
Laughing cow cheese, Diet Coke, chicken breasts and, duh, cauliflower

2. What is one food you can't keep in your house for fear of overeating?
Crackers, bread and chips (OK, that's more than one, but...)

3. What would be your last meal if you were on death row?
Grilled cheese and tomato soup

4. What's a food you hated as a kid but love as an adult?

5. What's a food you loved as a kid but wouldn't touch as an adult?
Bologna, liverwurst (seriously) and sardines

6. What's a food you hated then and still hate now?
Cooked carrots

7. What's a food you loved then and still love?
Mashed potatoes (sadly) with corn

8. What's the one food you wish had no calories so you could eat as much as you wanted?

9. What is the dish you make when you try to impress people?
Pork tenderloin

10. What was the meal your mom made you for special occasions (birthdays, etc.)?
Chicken Kiev

Your turn! Post your answers in the comment section. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Service hours

Last weekend I was at the Ronald.

Should I even talk about it? Sigh.

Apparently students at some of the local private schools had to turn in their service hours Monday. And what's an easier last-minute service project than making baked goods for the families of the Ronald McDonald House? (Did I mention the sigh?)

I was already feeling a little down last weekend. Though I tried as hard as I could to avoid the cupcakes, brownies, cookies and muffins, I...well, just didn't.

Here's a picture of the counter on Saturday afternoon (we got even more donations Sunday).
I mean, seriously?

If the kids called to ask if they could drop stuff off, I told them no. But there wasn't much I could do about the ones who just showed up.

I'm not proud of how I acted. BUT. I did get up Monday morning and do my first day of my third week of Couch to 5K. This week, I have to run for three minutes at a time. I never thought I'd make it. But I made sure to ignore the countdown clock and just run until I was beeped at to stop. And I made it! I'm not sure I've ever been so proud as when I finished my initial three minutes.

So, as usual, I'm up and down. Weight-wise, emotion-wise and food-wise. But I'm still hanging in there. And sometimes that's all I can do.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The distraction of running

So, as I told you last week, my Weight Watchers weigh-in was less than ideal. Three weeks of overeating took its toll and I was up 6.8 pounds.

Last week I tried to take on a new outlook. I've been running (more on that in a second) and trying to stay within my allotted WW points every day.

Today I weighed in with a little success. I was down 3.6 pounds from last week. I'm feeling better.

Now. About that running thing. As I mentioned, I've been working the Couch to 5K program, which gradually trains you to run a 5K. I'm now almost finished with my second week, which consists of a 5-minute warm-up walk, followed by cycles of 90 seconds of running, then 2 minutes of walking.

For someone who is not a runner, 90 seconds of running is hard. Hard. But the great thing I discovered is that my time on the treadmill or outside is the only time I'm able to get out of my own head and forget the things that have been dragging me down.

Because the whole time, all I can think of is how much I hate running. There are no thoughts of broken hearts, work stress, to-do lists or other worries. I'm just driven by hate. That's kind of working for me.

But something else follows that hate--an unbridled sense of accomplishment. As soon as that little app beeps at me and tells me I'm done running, I'm proud--fiercely proud. I just ran a full minute and a half! I RAN!

As it continues to get harder (I think next week I have to run for three minutes straight), I'm determined to just try my best.

It's all I can do, right?

For now, here's a super attractive picture of me post-Silver Comet trail. Proof that I'm trying. Yay for German-Irish pink skin!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Damage control

The damage has been done.

Today, I tucked my tail between my legs and headed back to Weight Watchers. It's been three weeks since I showed my face in a meeting. Three weeks of terrible eating. Three weeks of old Erika rearing her ugly, sad head.

I knew it would be bad. I was right. I gained 6.8 pounds.

There it is. The number in black and white, now written for all eternity in my Weight Watchers weight log.

But things are looking up--at least a little. I'm trying to climb my way out of the dark. Saturday I went to the Silver Comet Trail and started (in earnest this time) the Couch to 5K program. I did my second day yesterday and faced one of my biggest fears--running on the treadmill (I can walk on a treadmill all day long, but with running, I have a fear of  tripping and flying off the back--I managed to stay upright, at least).

For the past two days, I've tracked my food diligently. So, I'm trying.

I was saying today in my Weight Watchers meeting--and I may have blogged about this before--that there was a time in my life where food served its purpose. Maybe my compulsive overeating protected me in some ways when my mom died. Maybe it stopped me from doing other things to harm myself. I don't know.

What I do know is that overeating no longer makes me feel better. It no longer comforts me. It makes me feel worse--physically and emotionally. And right now, I just don't need anything to make me feel worse.

I'm trying to remember that when I want to swing by Zaxby's, or pick up a Big Mac. Those things will not help me feel less sad.

And this too shall pass.