Monday, December 10, 2012

A happy Monday

I had a good weekend. A really good weekend.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook (I'm now calling you Team Erika--I hope you don't mind), know all the gory details. But for those of you who don't (and if you want to, there's a link over there on the right to "like" my blog page), I spent my weekend in the lions' den of temptation--the Ronald McDonald House.

I was super worried about the weekend. I've been having such a hard time lately and have felt so out of control. I knew that three days at the Ronald could be one more step toward my total undoing.

I didn't want to let that happen. I couldn't let that happen. And guess what? I didn't. I made good choices. I avoided the ridiculous plethora of sweets. And for the first time in forever, I actually felt victorious. And boy did I need that. I needed to remember what it felt like to stay in control. It feels good, in case you're wondering. REALLY good.

For posterity, I made a little video. I might try to do more of these (I was a little scared of this at first), and obviously I need some coaching, so I'm not just a tiny box in the middle of the screen. At any rate, for your viewing pleasure--or whatever--I present a weekend at The Ronald.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A plan

Thanks to all of you for your support and input last week. I realize I came across as a little negative. I apologize for that. But I'm grateful to you guys for letting me be who I am.

With that said, I've given a lot of thought to where I am right now. I thought about creating a new goal. I also thought about quitting for good--ignoring this blog and stopping all together.

But I talked myself off that ledge.

So here's what I decided. For the rest of the year, I'm going to give myself a break. No unrealistic goals. No beating myself up. Until January, I'm going to keep working my plan the best I can, exercise when I can. I'm not going to stop.

But I did talk to Dee, my Weight Watchers leader. Until January, I'm going to go to my WW meetings, but I'm not going to weigh in. This isn't an opportunity for me to go crazy. It's just a chance for me to take some pressure off and take care of myself emotionally. That's where I most need it.

I'll still blog when I can. I'll still check in with you guys. I just need to get my head on straight. I've tried tough love with myself. I've tried just saying "screw it" to all of it. Neither worked. So I'm trying this compromise.

I hope you'll still support me. I hope you understand.

And more than anything, I hope I step on that scale in 2013 ready to start a new chapter.