Wednesday, April 14, 2010

It's all in your (my) head

I officially don’t have to pay for Weight Watchers.


At this week’s meeting, I earned my 10 percent, which came with this nifty little keychain. Yay!

But I’m still struggling with the mental part. Not of losing weight—I think I’ve finally gotten that right in my head—but with the yay me part.

Yeah, 10 percent is great. I guess it’s a big deal. But I’m still having a hard time celebrating. It’s that inner voice (I never did pick a name for him) who keeps nagging me, chiding me about how far I have to go.

He says stuff to me, like:

“Great, 10 percent. You’re still really fat, though. You could still be one of the contestants on ‘The Biggest Loser.’”

“You should just give up now. It’s going to take FOREVER to get anywhere even close to your goal.”

“People are only saying they can tell a difference because they know you’re doing Weight Watchers.”

Ad nauseum.

Please know that I don’t tell you guys this to solicit compliments. It’s simply what I’m feeling. I wish I could change it. I wish, when someone tells me that I’m doing a good job, I didn’t feel the automatic need to follow it up with “Yeah, but I have a long way to go.” Yesterday, at the WW meeting, I felt guilty celebrating my 10 percent, because my goal seems light years away.

Tomorrow I’m heading to Florida to celebrate the wedding of one of my very best friends. I’m going to get to see my dad, who also lives in Florida, too. I’m looking forward to seeing so many friends and loved ones. And I’m going to try to be in the moment instead of wasting time being self-conscious. Wish me luck.

I won’t be doing my usual Friday blog, but I will be back Monday, hopefully with some pictures. I hope you all have wonderful, healthy weekends.

By the way, I wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you who write me, comment on the blog or stop me in the hallway. I can’t tell you how much it means to me.

6 comments:

Kelly Whelchel said...

You are doing amazing!! Thanks for all the motivation. I got my 10% key chain too. We can do it.

Anonymous said...

So proud of you, lady!

Celebrate everyday. Celebrate that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Celebrate that Jesus lives and took away our guilt and shame. Celebrate life. Celebrate love. Celebrate that you are a blessing sent from above. You always have been and always are.

You're inspirational, beautiful, good, precious and lovely. Yay for all of us that have the pleasure to know you and have you in our lives.
And, a YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!! for you!

Anonymous said...

Erika,

Fill your head with good, positive messages. And, in the words of Winston Churchill, "never, never, never give up!" You will reach your goal.... and remember, your key goal is to change your lifestyle. That takes time!

I know some people think affirmations are "silly" and only weak people "need" them... but that is not true! Everyone can use positive affirmations! I even record my affirmation on my iPOD so I can hear myself saying these things... Messages like...

"I am blessed. I am strong. I am creative. I have unlimited energy."

"A beautiful future lies before me."

"I have discipline and self-control."

"I am connected to an unlimited source of abundance. "

Anonymous said...

We are all cheering for you and 10% is awesome. Don't give up. Be strong this weekend! Can't wait to hear more!!

Linda

annamac said...

I'm going to call him "little bobby downer"....You're doing great! Keep it up!

LaTonia said...

I really hate that I missed your 10% celebration and dance. But, I am so proud of what you've accomplished so far. Remember when you started and you thought your 10% was light years away? Here you are a few weeks later putting money in your pocket! C'mon now, dance with me! We'll do it all over again in a few weeks.