Monday, January 24, 2011

Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow

I think I’ve worried you guys.  First of all, rest assured that I am not:

• Bingeing
• Quitting
• Spending my day huddled under my desk in misery

I’m just a little down. I’ve gotten some very sweet e-mails in response to Friday’s blog. Thank you, as always, for your kind words. I just wanted to clear something up—I am moving forward. And I am not quitting. Ever.

My food’s been good. I’m working out harder than ever. But my mind and heart are in the middle of a rough patch.

I think I’ve been pretty consistently positive throughout this journey. I’ve tried to be, anyway. I’ve genuinely felt pretty good about this, give or take a few days. Lately, though, I’ve unfortunately been focusing on my “wish I hads” and my “have-nots.” I’m looking at how far I have to go, rather than how far I’ve come. And that’s not like me.

I’m doing my very best to snap out of this mental plateau. Maybe it’s just a feeling I need to experience right now. Maybe I just need to accept where I am, feel the way I feel about it and then move forward. After all, I’ve spent what seems a lifetime ignoring my feelings.

It’s important to me to be real with you guys. Obviously, not everything about life—or weight loss—is sunshine and roses. And for me to present it that way isn’t fair to you. Or to me. But I’m also not in a deep, dark place of depression. I’d describe it as just a little gray.

So, as usual, I’m plugging along. Doing the best I can. I expect to welcome back the sunshine and roses any day now.


Flynnsight said...

Your little corner may be temporarily gray(ish), but you are still our sunshine, friend.

Anonymous said...

Well said Erika!!! and we appreciate realness. That is what makes your blog so relative:) ~JK