Friday, June 24, 2011

30-something going on 13

Today, I’m going to share a story with you. A story about a 13-year-old girl who fell in love for the first time (two love posts in a row! Yay!). Her love was divided among five guys, but one in particular captured most of her attention.

My bedroom circa 1990.
She’d sit in her room, covered with their pictures, and dream of meeting them. She’d listen to their music and just know they were singing about her. Oh yeah, she had the right stuff, all right. And step by step, she’d find her way to make these boys love her as much as she loved them.

To say the New Kids on the Block were my life as an adolescent would not be an overstatement. I knew all their birthdays. Their brothers’ and sisters’ and parents’ names. I have dozens of VHS tapes filled with their appearances. I bought shoes that looked like the ones they wore (black shiny tie-up ones). My room was covered in posters and pin-ups. But Donnie was the only one who had a framed photo that sat on my nightstand. Obsession.

The New Kids kept me out of trouble, as silly as it sounds. While our other high school peers were out drinking, my friends and I were watching our New Kids’ videos. Perfecting our dance steps. And planning our weddings.

A few years ago, the boys reunited. I couldn’t have been more excited. I never really lost my love for them. I followed their solo projects—but to have them back together was a dream come true. I got to relive my childhood.

Donnie Wahlberg club show in 2009.
Their first reunion show in 2008 took me right back to my teen years--when I was carefree, though I didn’t realize it. When I had my whole life ahead of me. When I could be anything I wanted to be. When I still had my mom. When I still had my dreams.

After that show, as giddy as I was, I sank into a deep depression. Had I become that person I dreamed of being when I first fell in love with them? I felt unaccomplished. Fat. Lonely. It sent me into a tailspin and into the rock bottom that eventually led me to start this journey.

Fast forward to Wednesday. The New Kids (and the Backstreet Boys) were coming to Children’s. I could barely contain my excitement. Could it be that 20 years of dreams were finally going to come true?

Patty Gregory, the Children's Manager of Public Relations, made it happen. She asked me to help her greet the boys when they arrived. My inner teen was screaming, but my outer professional tried to be cool as a cucumber. I think I ended up somewhere between the two.


Then, finally, it happened, thanks to my friend and co-worker Meg Flynn, who grabbed Donnie for a photo opp. Donnie Wahlberg, my very first love, put his arms around me. Cheek-to-cheek, we posed for a picture. I talked to him about inane stuff. I told him how great it was that they had come to visit the kids. He thanked me. He called me darlin’. I tried not to faint.

Then it was over. I started thinking about the woman that 13-year-old girl wished she could be. And I thought maybe—just maybe—I’m starting to become her.


17 comments:

Kevin M. said...

You ARE an amazing human being and I am proud to know you. Seeing you post-Donnie Wednesday made my heart sing. The 13-year-old Erika would surely be proud.

Kellynn18 said...

I am holding back tears right now, Erika. That post was both funny and poignant. I continue to be impressed by you, and you look absolutely radiant in those photos. I hope you're so proud for allowing yourself to have that experience. You are amazing!

Marisa said...

I totally agree about holding back tears! I love this post - it makes me want to hug 13-year-old Erika and grown up Erika! :o)

Anonymous said...

The BEST. Love you! - k8

Anonymous said...

All I can think after reading this is, "YESSSSS!"

You sho 'nuff got the right stuff, baby!

Nicole Castresana said...

What a great story Erika! Thank you for sharing. Totally trying not to cry. As long as you know how beautiful you are and how much we love you!

Michelle said...

That is a great story! As a total New Kids fan myself I can totally relate to this. I was a crazy teen and obsessed with them. I saw them first in 1990 and then in 2009 for the reunion tour and it was amazing. I'm totally jealous of you meeting Donnie, I would have had a hard time staying cool too, haha.

Anonymous said...

you look so freakin' good in that picture with Donnie; you look GREAT! (and, I am loving your red swimsuit from the post before!) GO GIRL! Lauren K.

Amanda C said...

I am VERY jealous! New Kids on the Block was my obsession!! You look great!

emilyanne said...

I LOVE IT!!! You look awesome :)

LaTonya Blount said...

LOL, I was reading the snippet on Careforce about you meeting your dream man. I was truly engaged in the article until I got down to the last paragraph. You had me going but it is great when one meets their dream man. Congratulations, lol. And keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

How exciting!!! I have to agree with everyone that you look amazing in these pics and HAPPY! Love this dress on you WOW :) Keep it up ~~~JK

Siobahn said...

I also had/have a crush on NKOTB! I had their sleeping bag and lunch box. So sad I missed them at ECH. Love the pic with Donnie--you look great!

Anonymous said...

I know you ahev been told this before, but the Lord is using you in mighty ways to minister to so many of our hearts. . .us girls out there who live inside adult bodies who have longed to be loved and longed to feel lovely. Thank you for reminding us the importance of self-acceptance and loving ourselves. . .

Anonymous said...

This made me tear up and I am so not a tear-upper. This is my inspiration reading if I ever get to meet George.
~Stacey

Tess said...

Great post Erika! You look cool as a cucumber in the photos. So proud of you accomplishing so many dreams this year!!!... Zumba hugs-- TK

Anonymous said...

Screw holding back the tears...I'm straight up crying. hahaha. You look wonderful woman. :)

Jenny