Friday, October 29, 2010

Just hush

I know, I know. I told you guys I’d blog four times this week, and this is only my second entry. Being out Monday kind of threw me off for the whole week. But next week, be prepared to be totally sick of me.

Anyway, so on to today’s topic.

A friend of mine told me a story recently. She is trying so hard to lose weight (and doing a fantastic job, I might add) and made a big salad for lunch one day. She added grilled shrimp, feta cheese—lots of great, healthy stuff—and decided to sit outside and enjoy the day.

A woman whom she had never met walked by my friend and noticed her salad and commented, “That’s a huge salad. I’d never be able to eat all that.”

My sweet friend was so embarrassed that she ended up throwing out the rest.

My heart hurt for her. I would have reacted very similarly. Actually, I might have made excuses. Oh, I didn’t have any breakfast. Or, yeah, I am having a super late dinner, so I need to have a bigger lunch.

But why? Why did this woman feel the need to comment on my friend’s lunch? What she said was terribly rude. Did she think she could just comment because my friend isn’t super skinny and seemed to be eating a large portion? For the love of all, it was a salad. And trust me, if I make a salad, I make a giant one just to fill me up.

But I hate that my friend’s feelings were hurt. I hate that I, too, would have felt the need to make excuses. This woman didn’t know my friend’s story. She didn’t know how hard she’s been working—how she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. She knew none of that. But still felt the need to call her out.

Since I’ve started Weight Watchers and, for once, been very vocal about it, I definitely have people in my life who comment on things I eat. How many points is that, Erika? You’re having a piece of cake? Are you allowed to eat that?

Maybe people are trying to be helpful. But it makes me feel defensive. I am doing just fine without you policing me, thank you very much. I’ll worry about what I can and cannot eat.

The next time you think about commenting on what someone else is eating (and I’ve done it, too), consider how that could affect the person. You might be surprised.


Anonymous said...

Ugh. People have no idea! In a lot of different areas. It reminds me of a time when my sister was out with my ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL niece(who has absolutely beautiful curls I might add) and this woman, a complete stranger, stopped and looked at her, shook her head and said "Look at her hair! What a mess!" (Not in a southern charm- you are a "hot mess" way, but more like a revolting pigsty mess)Why did this grown woman feel the need to stop and criticise a 3 year old? I agree with your point her 100%!


Anonymous said...

oh, girl , great post!!!! people need to be more careful with what they say. you wrote this beautifully. so so proud of you. and hugs to your friend! that is not right. kinda reminds me of the woman who outtah the blue came up to me last week and said, "god you look so tired. do you ever sleep?" I mean, what the hell? I inherited dark circles under my eyes from my mother's family and i am sooo self conscious about it. and the comment hurt so bad cuz i used to get teased as a kid for it. People just dont realize how their words can hurt deeply.

Love you, girl
-Katie G on the P :)

Tiffany said...

Katie G, I'm the same way with my inherited eye bags. I constantly get "you look tired" from people. People really need to watch what they say.

And yes, I've gotten comments about what I'm eating too, mainly from someone I love. If I'm eating something vaguely unhealthy she goes, "aren't you on a diet?"... things like that just don't do anything to help my motivation.

Great post, E.

Megan said...

I can't stand it when people comment on what I eat! Leave me alone! I'm an adult and I know what I'm doing. Good grief. In my family we say "No one likes a counter". That is how I respond every time someone has something to say about what I'm eating, drinking or buying.

Dinah said...

I'm going to make t-shirts that read, "My body is none of your business."

So when genetically waify girls are enjoying a salad, they can ward off all the haters that wish they'd "just eat a cheeseburger."

So when girls carrying a few extra lbs around are enjoying a cheeseburger, they can ward off, "Aren't you on a diet?"

So when a pregnant lady is enjoying her morning mocha, she can ward off, "I thought you weren't supposed to drink caffeine!"

So when a person is trying to make healthy choices he or she can ward off the peer pressure of, "Oh come on, you don't have to go to the gym. Have drinks with us!" or "You never eat any sugar! You can have one piece of chocolate with me!"

And on the back it will read: "MIND YOUR DAMN MANNERS."

Jenny said...

And I will buy one of those t-shirts. Sing it, girls. Very well said, Erika, as usual.

Anonymous said...

I agree 110 percent. This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! I hate it when anyone comments on what I'm eating. Why is it anyone's business what I have for lunch? Very well done, Erika.