Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Introducing our newest member

What? Is she seriously blogging TWICE in one week? Could it be true?

I know! I'm kind of amazed myself. At any rate, here I am.

Tuesday I went to Weight Watchers and told my leader, Dee, I was starting over. I've been going to my meetings without weighing in for a long time now, and that's not helping. So, I got a new weight record and am treating this like a new beginning.

Dee was all for it. She started the meeting and said "Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to our new member, Erika." And you know what? It really did feel like a fresh start. It feels good to think about leaving behind the past several months. I've still kept off 100 pounds. I'm going to hold onto that.

When I went completely out of control at The Ronald Saturday, I was so miserable. I feel like it was a bit of a back-breaking straw for this camel. I need to remember how much I WANT this. And how much I have inside of me to make it happen. I WILL see this through. I have to.

I've had a great few days. I feel a new motivation within me. My food has been on track. I've worked out every day. And I've tried to curb the negative talk.

OK, so that last one is still my biggest struggle. For instance, yesterday I went to one of the really tough workout classes offered here at Children's. It's the same class that actually made me cry the first time I took it. And even yesterday, I held back tears. See, this class is no joke. It's interval training, so we do a minute or so of cardio,  followed by a minute or so of weights, etc., for 30 minutes.

The first time I went, I thought "Oh, I can do anything for 30 minutes." Except when I thought I was going to die and looked at the clock, only about 7 minutes had passed. Needless to say, it's among the hardest 30 minutes I've ever experienced.

Sometimes, like yesterday, I walk out of that class feeling worse about myself than when I walked in. I can't keep up with everything (though to be honest, few people can), which makes me feel like a failure. That's clearly the wrong attitude. I should be proud just for trying. I'm working on it.

As always, thanks for sticking by me--through my real failures and made-up ones. 


Dunwoodygirl said...

See? You are an inspiration! After your post on Monday, I went back to Quick Weight Loss Center and joined up again. I had lost 57 and gained 22 back and have been feeling pretty helpless and remorseful until you voiced my frustration with myself. Getting back on track is what's it all about. Good luck to us!

Erika said...

Thank you so much! I'm so glad we're in this together. :) Go, us!

Kellynn18 said...

Great job, Erika! I was out of town this weekend and was in a very similar situation. I came back feeling sick and unhealthy. You're inspiring me to get back on track too. Keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

You inspire me. Have started tracking my food again and am meeting with CHOA nutritionist. Thanks for leading the way and blazing a path.