Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Movin' on up

I’ve been a bit of a slacker this week. Not in my weight loss, but definitely in my blogging. My apologies. I’m working on a big project for work and I’m also moving this Saturday. Have I mentioned how much I hate moving? A lot.

I’ve only been living in my apartment about a year. My landlord has decided to move back in, so I had to find a new home. It’s funny, though. I think about how I felt moving into my current place. I had been living in another apartment for five years and was ready to get out. But I felt stuck. So when the opportunity to lease the condo of a friend of a friend was presented, I jumped at it.

I told everyone who would listen that this was going to change my life. New location, new start, new me. This would be the place I’d finally get myself together. The place I’d finally start focusing on getting healthy. But it didn’t happen. And because it didn’t happen magically with a new address, I punished myself even more.

I’ve come to realize that when you start looking outside yourself for the answers, you’ll never find them. I put my hopes into a new apartment. But what I needed was to find that hope within my own heart.

I know there are so many of you who can relate to this. When I weigh this much, I’ll do such and such. When I am in this relationship, I’ll be this kind of person. When I get this promotion at work, I’ll finally find what I’m seeking. Better, thinner, richer, smarter, more successful. All good things. But sometimes those things can mask the heartache we are trying to ignore. I know it was like that for me.

This weekend when I move, I know it will indeed be a fresh start for me, and not just because my zip code is changing. It’s because I have changed. And because that change comes from within, it goes wherever I go.


Leanne said...

Erika, this blog made me cry. How honest and insightful are your words. You're so inspiring to me. God bless you on all your new moves and changes.

Jennie said...

Wow, thanks for your post. It is exactly what I needed to hear today. Good luck moving this weekend!

Anonymous said...

geez, you really go deep erika ;)
i know what you mean though-i love new year's day bc of the feeling of freshness (and because we get a free day of lounging, but each year my only resolution is to not make another resolution. because i know that if it's true and real and the motivation is there, i'll start it on june 2. and on june 2 (or march 3, or august 9) it is very empowering to start something new just because i know that i can. and i just want to.

Anonymous said...

Good luck with the move,and please post more often!

Anonymous said...


I can so relate to the list of excuses for why a person remains heavy most of their life! I thought that getting a divorce nine years ago would bring about a new me, after all wasn't my extra weight my ex-husband's fault?! Well, obviously I am the only one to blame for the extra pounds as I am still the same old me that I've been for far too many years. I am happy for you, happy that you are rediscovering the wonderful person that you are while life still holds so many new beginnings and chances. You have a wit, fun spirit and inner/outer beauty that makes everyone want to be around you! Good luck on your move and new beginnings!