Movin' on up

I’ve been a bit of a slacker this week. Not in my weight loss, but definitely in my blogging. My apologies. I’m working on a big project for work and I’m also moving this Saturday. Have I mentioned how much I hate moving? A lot.

I’ve only been living in my apartment about a year. My landlord has decided to move back in, so I had to find a new home. It’s funny, though. I think about how I felt moving into my current place. I had been living in another apartment for five years and was ready to get out. But I felt stuck. So when the opportunity to lease the condo of a friend of a friend was presented, I jumped at it.

I told everyone who would listen that this was going to change my life. New location, new start, new me. This would be the place I’d finally get myself together. The place I’d finally start focusing on getting healthy. But it didn’t happen. And because it didn’t happen magically with a new address, I punished myself even more.

I’ve come to realize that when you start looking outside yourself for the answers, you’ll never find them. I put my hopes into a new apartment. But what I needed was to find that hope within my own heart.

I know there are so many of you who can relate to this. When I weigh this much, I’ll do such and such. When I am in this relationship, I’ll be this kind of person. When I get this promotion at work, I’ll finally find what I’m seeking. Better, thinner, richer, smarter, more successful. All good things. But sometimes those things can mask the heartache we are trying to ignore. I know it was like that for me.

This weekend when I move, I know it will indeed be a fresh start for me, and not just because my zip code is changing. It’s because I have changed. And because that change comes from within, it goes wherever I go.