Thursday, November 18, 2010

The human experience

Tap tap.

Is this thing on?

Where have I been? Oh friends. There are just some days/weeks that I don’t want to blog, because I don’t want to have to admit the truth.

But I’m struggling a little, you guys.

Don’t worry—I haven’t been on some four-day food bender. But I’ve definitely wanted to be.

I feel like this has gotten a little easy for me. I’ve been sailing by for the past few weeks, not really concentrating or focusing on my weight loss yet still losing weight. I’ve overeaten a few more times than I would like, and this past weekend, while filling in at the Ronald, I basically ate my weight in Halloween candy.


It’s never easy for me to admit to you when things are less than perfect. I want to be a good role model. But I’m also a real person and this journey is not easy.

Why it’s been extra hard lately, I’m not sure. Maybe I’m stressed. Maybe I’m getting the holiday blues like I often do. I don’t know. What I do know is that it seems like lately I’ve been white-knuckling to keep myself from full-out bingeing.

Now, I have not gone back to my old ways. I’m just fighting it more than usual. A wise person told me that as I’ve lost weight, I’ve literally shed layers of myself to find new things about myself that I have to face. Maybe that’s true.

I know this is an ongoing process. And I know that—overall—I’m continuing to succeed in small ways. I also feel confident that I will never again be the girl I once was. But it’s still a little frustrating to struggle.

I kind of hate being reminded that I’m human.


Kendall said...

You are one awesome human! I was thinking about you today and I'm so glad to know that you're still working away toward your goals. I'm so proud of you!

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely a role model, and you should not doubt that for a second. You inspired me to get back in the gym and use those training sessions I'd already paid for. :-) You're also a role model in many other ways...and a trusted friend and advisor. You are doing great things. Admitting you're human is encouraging to the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

everything you are saying here is totally normal. your honesty is refreshing and admirable, my friend. if you didnt feel these things on occasion, THAT would be abnormal! YOU are HUMAN! it's ok to fall, to make mistakes along the way. the only thing that matters is getting back up. Happy Birthday to you, Erika. The world is a better place with you in it. and your smile lights up the room. I am proud of you.

Girl on the Phone :)

Kellynn18 said...

You are not alone! I have felt the same way you have so many times. I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds over the past few months--heck, over the past few years! Just hang in there; give yourself a break every once in a while; and keep moving forward. You can do it. You're still an inspiration, no matter what!

Dinah said...

More like SUPER human. Whenever I think of my health & fitness goals, I always think of those healthy people I know who mind their portions, make healthy choices, exercise... and still eat Halloween candy. And still occasionally indulge in a big, rich meal. The key is that they don't do it all the time, nor do they avoid it completely.

Sounds like you're becoming one of those healthy people I always wanted to be, toots.