Thursday, December 2, 2010

Me versus the Brangelina pant

Sporks. Brunch. Bennifer. TomKat.

We love our name mash-ups, don’t we? If two things or people can be put together, then so can their names.

I learned the hard way that one such hybrid may not be for me.

The jegging.

In case you haven’t heard of these, they are leggings made out of denim. Jeans + leggings = jeggings. Jeanius (Har, har).

The first time I heard about these double-duty items of clothing, I honestly thought they were a joke. I questioned them. I mocked them. And then—I had to have them.

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I knew I’d be going out with friends. And I had the perfect outfit picked out. In my mind. Jeggings. Boots. A sparkly top or jacket of some sort. Add some Erika sass, and I would be ready to ring in my new year.

I took the day off and set out shopping. I searched high and low for the perfect jegging. I went to one store and tried on a pair that were about the size I think I am now. Not pretty. They hung in all the wrong places. Bunched up where they shouldn’t. I actually giggled at myself in the mirror.

“Girl, you need a smaller size,” the salesperson told me.

"No, no. I don’t think so. That’s way too small for me,” I protested as she brought the next size down.

It turns out, we were both kind of right. I shoved myself into those things, squeezing my giant foot through the tiny ankle hole and falling into the mirror as I hopped around on one leg. Holding my breath as I buttoned them. I was sweating when I finally got them all the way on.

I looked like a sausage ready to bust out of its casing. It was laughable. Sweaty, red-faced and bursting at the seams. So much for my perfect birthday outfit.

I haven’t completely given up the idea of jeggings. But I’m also prepared to fully realize the hybrid pant may just not be for me. Yet.


Anonymous said...

You are far more beautiful than Brangelina ever could be!!!

i had to laugh at you falling into the mirror hopping on one leg because i did that the other day in a dressing room and now i have a goose egg on my forehead! haha!

Love you much!!

G on the P :)

Anonymous said...

I could completely envision that entire scenario (and could totally relate!). It is inspiring to see you find the humor in the situation - it would have been really easy to get depressed about the pants not working. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

Anonymous said...

Your posts need to come with a warning label: "Swallow whatever is in your mouth before reading, otherwise it may wind up coming out your nose." Yes, that's right, peppermint coffee through my nose this morning--I don't know whether to thank you for the laugh and scold you for my pain!

Nicole said...

I just had to google to see what jeggings look like. I'm pretty sure I'm afraid of them.

Anonymous said...

I just bought my first pair of jeggings. I felt pretty much like a sausage the entire time, but they are growing on me. And you looked FANTASTIC on your birthday!