Fair warning: the following post contains whining, raging, feeling sorry for oneself and more whining. Yeah, whining is the word of the day. Read at your own risk.
You know, sometimes I really hate dressing rooms. Like, HATE them.
I’m having a rough go of things lately. Yesterday, for the second week in a row, I had a gain. Last week I gained .2, which I blamed on my outfit (my usual Tuesday weigh-in outfit wasn’t clean and I wore corduroys. Duh). But this week I had no clothes to blame. Just myself. I had gone to visit family and overindulged a little.
Before you say anything, I know. .2 plus .6 doesn’t even equal a pound. But I’m just overall feeling kind of down. Big and bloated and icky. I’ve been here before. I know I’ll snap out of it. Today, though, I learned a valuable lesson.
I’m already between sizes, so I’m easily depressed in a dressing room. Today I went with a co-worker to Kohl’s. I tried on some pants (I’m in desperate need) and nothing fit. I tried not to cry in the dressing room. But really, today? Not a good time for everything to be too small. Do not try on clothes (especially pants) when you’re feeling not-so-attractive. It will never end well. Lesson learned.
I’m trying to snap out of my funk. When I get in these emotional places, I remember that this is how I used to feel about myself all the time. Every minute of every day. I hated that feeling. And I’ve worked too hard to let this overtake me.
But just for now, I feel like wallowing. (Don’t worry. I’ll stay away from the spinach dip).
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7 comments:
Amen, Sister! We've all been there. When you really start feeling like that, try and go for a long walk in a pretty place. It will clear your head and make you feel like you did something to counteract your problem.
When I was on WW, I realized that whenever I didn't eat as much as I was supposed to eat, I didn't lose and sometimes I would gain just a little. Sounds crazy I know but it did happen! I was with you this weekend and I was just a little concerned that you didn't have enough to eat! Please stop beating yourself up everytime you don't lose or you gain. There are lots of reasons why we might gain or lose weight but it's not always because of something you have done! Go ahead and wallow for a few minutes but when you think about what an amazing year this has been for you, I hope you find it impossible to wallow for more than a minute! You are not a failure. You are a SUCCESS!!!
I'm sure that you're frustrated, but I would like to give you an example of an obvious improvement that you have made throughout your journey. When I met you on Tuesday and gushed about how much I love your blog and how cool I think you are, you took the compliment with grace and sincere gratitude. You did not put yourself down; you did not act like you didn't deserve the praise. I really don't think you would have done that or did do that when you started this journey. I say, Congratulations. You are realizing your worth. And that's more than half the battle. Keep it up, Erica. We love you!
P.S. I apologize I just spelled your name wrong. I have a cousin that spells her name Erica with a c instead of a k. I think I do that every time!!
Take 2: Keep it up, Erika. We love you!
SO much easier said than done, but focus on how far you have come. Maybe take a look at the size pants you were wearing when you started or pictures of yourself from a year ago. I KNOW...start wearing skirts!!!
In the big picture, you've come a long way baby and hey - a little whine never hurt anyone!
I totally missed this entry last week, but EXCUSEZ-MOI, Erika, I imagine that the reason you were desperately looking for new pants is that the old ones are TOO BIG!!!!!! But yes, I've been there too, often actually, where you are so hoping you are finally a size "whatever" and then your hopes are crushed because you're not even close - BUT do we go back to try on the next size up to see the irrefutable evidence that we now look ridiculous in that size? NO! We'd rather beat ourselves up for our perception that we've failed in some way, instead of congratulating ourselves that we REALLY REALLY REALLY do not belong in a size to which we can now say "GOODBYE FOREVER, SIZE ___!!" For now, let's both focus on our mutual goal that we talked about last night in Zumba - for you in particular, an incredible & a powerfully tangible measure of your many successes thus far in this journey of yours! Cardio tomorrow night, Classroom 5!!!
B :)
BLOG sista! :)
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