Friday, September 21, 2012

Don't call it a comeback

I can't remember the last time I felt victorious over food. For two and a half years, food and I have been stepping into the ring. The bell goes off (after they horrifyingly announce my weight) and we start the dance. Uppercuts, jabs, crosses. Me dodging and blocking the best I can, and trying to get in a good hook every once in a while.

I won a few matches in the beginning. But lately, it's been almost an immediate TKO. I'm on the ground, the ref smacks the floor and I don't get up. I don't even try to move as the french fries and pizza obnoxiously celebrate their win.

But I feel the odds changing.

This week, that same ref has held my arm up in victory more than a few times. There was dinner at P.F. Chang's, which I finished with Weight Watchers points left over. There was the avoidance of chips and dip at another dinner. There was the lunch I went to where I pored over the nutritional information and picked something new (and healthy), instead of the yummy (and not at all healthy) pimento cheese sandwich I normally get.

These little victories have, in a small way, restored a piece of my soul this week. I had forgotten what it felt like to be a winner. Guess what? It feels really, really awesome. I've woken up every day this week feeling strong and determined. Even a little proud--and that's something I haven't felt in a very long time.

I realize that as much as I may have gotten off track, there is always hope. I'm never completely down for the count if I don't choose to be. Hopefully this week of victories turns into another week and another and another. I've been trying to get back to the basics, and remember how excited I was when I first started this journey. How much better I feel when I'm in control.

I've lost and won some matches, and I'll continue to battle. But I think I've got a good chance of winning that belt in the end.

After all, everyone loves a good comeback, right?


Brant said...

You rock.

Anonymous said...

Every day is a fight and as long as you win more than you lose, it is all good. There are just days when you have to open up that can of "whoop a$$" and take all that life throws at you. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think the bell has run and your arm is flying high in victory!!! Go girl!!!

Susanna King said...

Hooray for you!
The thing I always remind myself, when I remember back to the time I was successful at eating healthy, is that I didn't really miss all the food I passed by. I just had to get through the craving moment, and I was OK. I'm trying to remember that now, and reading your blog is helping!

Angela said...

Way to get back in the game!!

SFM in Vermont said...

Boy do I know the feeling, Erika. I've kept a food journal on and off for years, but sometimes I think I should keep a journal of the food I didn't eat, just to give me something to look back on at the end of the week and go, whew!!

Last week, attending a two-day conference, I DIDN'T eat croissants for breakfast, rolls and chips and cookies at lunch, chocolate from every exhibitor's booth, and more cookies in the afternoon breaks. SO hard, but I felt so good after.

Anonymous said...

What an awesome post! Not only are you inspiring, you are also a wonderful writer. I read your all of you blog posts to my husband, an English teacher for 38 years, and he is also impressed with both your story and your skill.
Good luck tomorrow at the weigh in; we are rooting for you.

Anonymous said...

"Little Victories" should be the name of a book or the HBO series that is made from your blog one day. : )