Disheartened

Often times when I’m out around the Children’s campus, people will approach me to talk about this blog and my weight loss. I’m always so flattered by your kind words and encouragement.

But today if someone were to come up with me, I might just burst into tears. Fair warning.

I’m having a rough week. Remember when I told you I had done so well while I was snowed in? Well, I think I made up for it with bad behavior during the weekend. I went out to eat several times and overate while I was at the movies with my sister-in-law Sunday.

My weigh-in Tuesday was evidence. I lost 1.4 pounds. That would be a good loss, except because of the storm and the holidays, that was my first weigh-in in three weeks. I still haven’t made it to 90 pounds (I’m at 89). I feel like it’s taking forever.

I admit, like a lot of people, I was pretty darn sedentary for the past two weeks or so. I hadn’t met with my trainer since before the holidays (I took a week off. She took a week off. Then the ice week was, of course, a wash) so I was excited to be back into my normal schedule. I’ve worked out hard this week. Zumba Tuesday here at work. Personal training with Jessica followed by a (super intense) new Zumba class at a dance studio near my home. Cardio fusion here at the Park last night.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I know I’ve worked my booty off this week. I stepped on the scale.

I’ve gained 2 pounds.

I don’t know what’s going on. Is my body rebelling from the lack of movement earlier in the month? My food’s been good, save a Mexican restaurant splurge Tuesday night.

I can’t help but feel totally frustrated. I’m good at being a cheerleader for other people. If someone else told me they were having these same problems, I’d tell them to be kind to themselves. To keep moving forward—we all hit plateaus. But I'm not so good at taking my own advice.

Things have been steady for me up until now. Not easy by any stretch, but steady. And now I feel I’m going backward.

My body feels tired. Broken. I grimace every time I sit down because of the lunges I’ve done. To not see the payoff on the scale feels like a rip-off.

Tomorrow’s another day. Monday is another week. But just keep walking if you see me balled in a fetal position in the corner.