Friday, January 21, 2011

Disheartened

Often times when I’m out around the Children’s campus, people will approach me to talk about this blog and my weight loss. I’m always so flattered by your kind words and encouragement.

But today if someone were to come up with me, I might just burst into tears. Fair warning.

I’m having a rough week. Remember when I told you I had done so well while I was snowed in? Well, I think I made up for it with bad behavior during the weekend. I went out to eat several times and overate while I was at the movies with my sister-in-law Sunday.

My weigh-in Tuesday was evidence. I lost 1.4 pounds. That would be a good loss, except because of the storm and the holidays, that was my first weigh-in in three weeks. I still haven’t made it to 90 pounds (I’m at 89). I feel like it’s taking forever.

I admit, like a lot of people, I was pretty darn sedentary for the past two weeks or so. I hadn’t met with my trainer since before the holidays (I took a week off. She took a week off. Then the ice week was, of course, a wash) so I was excited to be back into my normal schedule. I’ve worked out hard this week. Zumba Tuesday here at work. Personal training with Jessica followed by a (super intense) new Zumba class at a dance studio near my home. Cardio fusion here at the Park last night.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I know I’ve worked my booty off this week. I stepped on the scale.

I’ve gained 2 pounds.

I don’t know what’s going on. Is my body rebelling from the lack of movement earlier in the month? My food’s been good, save a Mexican restaurant splurge Tuesday night.

I can’t help but feel totally frustrated. I’m good at being a cheerleader for other people. If someone else told me they were having these same problems, I’d tell them to be kind to themselves. To keep moving forward—we all hit plateaus. But I'm not so good at taking my own advice.

Things have been steady for me up until now. Not easy by any stretch, but steady. And now I feel I’m going backward.

My body feels tired. Broken. I grimace every time I sit down because of the lunges I’ve done. To not see the payoff on the scale feels like a rip-off.

Tomorrow’s another day. Monday is another week. But just keep walking if you see me balled in a fetal position in the corner.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Erika you have been an absolute inspiration to me this entire time you have made incredible leaps in your health and fitness. You have accomplished so much in the past year and it shows every day. Your incredible and so is your blog...Dont beat yourself up! Keep pushing and keep that head high!

Tiffany said...

Is this your first "big" gain? That's amazing! Although I know it's super frustrating to gain after working so hard. Keep on trucking, there are any number of things that can affect the scale! Maybe shake up the workouts a bit or try some new recipes?

Anonymous said...

Fetal curling upping in a corner is a no go. Take a breath and take a walk.
Jennifer

Kelly R said...

Hang in there Erika, you can do it!

Kelly R.

Kellynn18 said...

We're all rooting for you, Erika! Keep up the good work. You can do it!

Anonymous said...

I completely understand and feel your frustration and pain. I have been there and done that. Just force yourself to keep pushing and in the next couple of weeks, you will see progress again. Considering your long journey, two weeks is no time at all....

Anonymous said...

Erika,

None of us take our own advice because that would be well too good to be true:) I like to take the glass half full approach. We all have set backs on out individual journeys. Did you think for a quick moment that your 2 lb gain was a success? A. it could be that you have gained 2 lbs of muscle which is needed to burn fat. B It could be 2 lbs that would have been 6 lbs had you not gotten back in there and worked out so hard after your hiatus? I as always am extremely proud of you!!! Keep it up girly:) We missed you in Zumba and they still filled in the scary cat meow's for you:) see you next week !!! ~be encouraged ~~~ JK